Practical Homes - Keyed to the Times
Unknown Artist, Portrait of the Deceased Boy with Vanitas Symbols (Flemish, 17th c. [not Renaissance. Don’t really care.])
Gerard ter Borch, Portrait of Helena van der Schalcke as a Child
First, she will consume her Easter eggs. Then she will consume your soul.
William Holman Hunt, Triumph of the Innocents (detail)
More like Triumph of the Rock-Hard Abs, amirite?
And holy shit, loving Perm Christ. Maybe he was immaculately born with it — maybe it’s Maybelline.
(submitted by Ellie)
Unknown Dutch Painter, 15th century, Virgin with Angels
One: Wow, Mary apparently had an epic lobotomy.
Two: Everyone knows that gingers don’t have souls. This painting is such bullshit.
Joachim Patinir, Überfahrt in die Unterwelt (detail)
Hemingway’s sequel to The Old Man & The Sea takes an unexpectedly kinky turn…
Giuliano Bugiardini, Scenes from the Story of Tobias (2)
Public intox isn’t cool, baby. Get your shit together.
(submitted by artofjoe)
Peter Paul Rubens, Bacchanal (detail)
Everyone remember, Rubenesque is just a nice sounding way to say that you’re seriously fucking obese. I mean, who knew that satyrs could have type 2 diabetes?